Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Pants are for mortals
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
