The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
