Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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