what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
