I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
