I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
