oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i wish my penis had a tongue
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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