i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Come on in and take your pants off
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