Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
