ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
