some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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