My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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