Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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