So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
