I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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