Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
