Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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