i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
