After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
