yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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