Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
