LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
