That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I didn't notice because vodka
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
