How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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