I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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