just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I need a burrito and a hug.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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