remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
