well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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