I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
