am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
