Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
