Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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