Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
