I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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