Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
