We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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