you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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