worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
