i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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