I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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