Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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