I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize