the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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