Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
