Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
