my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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