just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
