He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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