I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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