This girl is more easily done than said...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize