I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
this will be a night to untag.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
