I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize