The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
