Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize