4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.