I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?