butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.