Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.