It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
