I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
