it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
