let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
