I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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