Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
