I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
