Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
