well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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