This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think your dad took our porno
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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